“Yes, touching the blue fame would be very bad.”
“OK, one more story then it’s time for bed.”
“Your sleeve is not a tissue.”
Fatherhood is a strange and wonderful thing. The aforementioned phrases represent a tiny fraction of the Dad-isms I say to my son Liam on a daily basis. In addition to these phrases, I often find myself doing things that would cause the 20 year-old version of me to do a triple take. Closely inspecting the brushing of back teeth, picking up garbage with my feet because of the massive pile of laundry in my arms and being nearly choked out while giving Liam a piggyback have all become part of the daily routine. Maybe roller coaster is a better word than routine.
Having a 4.5 years of fatherhood under my belt, I wanted to take this opportunity to share a few random thoughts and tips for expecting/new dads.
1: Be present. I can’t stress this enough. It’s so easy to get caught up in social media streams, fantasy football leagues and other distractions. But when you’re distracted, there’s a good likelihood that you’re missing out on something awesome with your kid. It could be as simple as a laugh, a step or a moment of wonder. Whatever it is, it may only happen once. One of my favorite memories of Liam’s first year is when he began propping himself up. One night, he did what I consider to be his very push-up. It was amazing and hilarious and I’m glad I got to witness it.
2: Be patient. This one is tough for me. I feel the constant pressure to get as much as done as possible in all facets of my life and I sometimes (very unfairly) expect the same from my son. Getting out the door in the morning for the pre-K school bus consists of at least 10 unique actions all of which need to get done in the span of an hour and 15 minutes. When Liam, my wife Star and I first developed the routine, it was far from smooth. I failed to recognize that the pre-K morning routine was new to all of us and definitely pushed Liam to “get it together” too quickly. In hindsight, things would’ve gone much smoother if I had exercised more patience.
3: Embrace the weirdness. Yes, my friends – things will get weird. There will be goofy songs, there will be awkward questions about bodily functions and there will be imaginary adventures that will require you to wear a cape (surprise, it’s really a drool-covered blanket). Embracing the weirdness is a form of time travel. Racing mini Mario Kart figures around the hose with Liam reminds me of how I used to make up imaginary worlds and adventures when I was a kid. Reliving those good times while create fun, new memories is pretty incredible.
4. Get healthy. This goes with out saying but you’re not already in good health, you should do everything in your power to get yourself together. Young kids are bundles of energy and they have no qualms about putting you through ringer. I’m trying to live a healthier life so that I can keep up with my son. Now I’m no Jack LaLanne, but I’m making progress. Less junk food, more fruits and vegetables. Less couch surfing, more aerobic activities. Life is not a marathon, it’s an Iron Man race. Start training now.
5. This last item isn’t a tip – it’s an observation. If you’re raising your kid(s) with your wife or partner, count your blessings. My wife, in addition to all the amazing things she does, is a kick-ass mother. While there’s been plenty of times where it’s just been Liam and I for the better part of a day, I can’t imagine how we’d survive without Star. It took us awhile to find our parenting groove but I know now that she’s made me a better dad and I hope I’ve helped her be a better mom. So if you’re fortunate to have a co-pilot on this crazy parenting journey, be sure to let her or him know that you appreciate all that they do for your family.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a roller coaster to catch. Happy Father’s Day!